Well, Granada, I would not want to be you on the day THIS happened. I'm sure this is horrifying for the parties involved, but to me it seems pretty hilarious. Of all the screwed up things that you could let happen, this has to be somewhere near the top. I started wondering what the anthems sounded like, and if they sounded at all the same. I don't have the ability to listen to them at the moment, but I've managed to round up the national anthem of China and the national anthem of Taiwan from The National Anthems.net. They don't really sound at all the same to me.
China Anthem
Taiwan Anthem
(Please note that the above files are being hosted on my own server, and if you're reading this a good while after I posted it they could have been deleted on one of my whims. If the other site is still up you should be able to find them at the source.)
So, now that I've been talking about things sounding the same...
Color Time:
I love puns. It doesn't matter if they're terrible or clever, I just love them all. Now some of these you may have heard, and some you may not. Just bear with me here. One of these is one I made up myself so unless I just happened to come up with the same idea as someone else I hope you haven't heard it. It's bad enough that I don't think anyone got to it before me. Here we go.
1. "Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a footsore callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!" (I still think that was clever.)
2. This comes from me watching Abbott and Costello, though I don't think they originated it:
"Man: Excuse me, but I ordered a strawberry sundae. When am I going to get it?
Costello: Well what day is it today?
Man: Friday...
Costello: Then you got two more days to wait."
3. "There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."
4. "A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp." (I didn't think that one was very good, but I included it because it was somewhat English-related.)
5. "Some people think that when you go from high school to college you stop riding a bus. Well, that's just not true. You just move to the silly bus." (Yeah, that was mine. I told you it was bad.)
I'm going to stop now before I hurt someone.
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2 comments:
Dammit man. I warned you.
I remember in third grade, in Ms. Urban's class, we had to dress up as some historical figure and memorize a one-page paper that we wrote and say it on camera. I was Annie Oakley. I was playing basketball in gym, and I asked one of my friends, "Why did Annie Oakley try to play basketball?" I then replied, "...because she wanted to take a SHOT at it!"
Seriously, you do not want to know how damn clever I thought I was for making that up.
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